


Jimbo and Ned 's biggest blunder

by Chesirecat53



Category: South Park
Genre: Politics, Racism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-10
Updated: 2019-12-25
Packaged: 2021-01-27 04:28:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,304
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21386098
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chesirecat53/pseuds/Chesirecat53
Summary: Jimbo and Ned put up a Confederate Flag and people protest the bigoted symbol.
Kudos: 1





	1. In the Beginning

Disclaimer I do not own any of these characters

Chapter 1:

Jimbo and Ned 's biggest blunder

Jimbo and Ned woke up at their house on the morning of Robert E. Lee's birthday and wondered how to celebrate. Jimbo thought about the day and said "Why not make a cake shaped like General Lee's horse, Traveller, to celebrate Southern Liberty"? Ned muttered "We tried that last year and you cooked the cake too long". Jimbo suggested doing something much simpler that takes less effort.

Jimbo and Ned agreed to put up a Rebel Flag instead. While doing so, Jimbo and Ned had their speakers turned up as Ned's Iphone used its Spotify account to play every version of "Dixie" on it. Jim said "could you turn it up louder" and Ned said "yes sir". He did and he did end up greeted by new fans, whom were the "boys in white" who showed up outside their house. Their leader said "we want to protect Southern Heritage from the Jews". Jimbo then said, "we were doing this for Southern Heritage, not for racism,'' Ned said "I have nothing against Jews" and slammed the door shut. Jim and Ned then figured out how to get rid of the white supremacists, despite obviously being prejudiced themselves.

The response from the town from Jimbo and Ned was more hostile what they expected. Within a week, the flag turned into a political football. On one side, Jimbo and Ned got the rednecks including Stuart McCormick. The KKK joined in inadvertently on Jimbo and Ned's side despite Jimbo and Ned's warnings against them. On the other side, run by Randy Marsh, had everyone else opposing it. Jimbo shouted "this flag was what my great grandfather used to fight for the South." Randy then said, "he's been dead over a century and Colorado isn't in the South." "There were very few black people or Jews present on the liberal side aside from Token and Kyle's family.

TBC ….


	2. A new flag

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jimbo and Ned turn the controversy to another issue

Jimbo and Ned were busy trying to figure out how to deal with the protesters. Jimbo said "Hey, I have an idea". Ned muttered "What is it?" Jimbo said, "Why don't we copy what Georgia did with its flag and replace the Confederate flag with the actual Confederate Flag so nobody will know the difference". Ned then followed by saying "it also helps that the Klan doesn't use that flag." Jimbo then decided to take down the Confederate flag and replace it with the actual 7-star flag used early in the war. Surprisingly, the plan worked for a while and the protests died down given few people realized the obviously bigoted history behind this flag.

Given Jimbo and Ned live in South Park, the same controversy arose again. This time, the controversy was around statues instead of flags though. Eric Cartman, after having watched Birth of a Nation, had decided to put a beard on a generic 19th century military statue and called it Robert E Lee while dressed with a fake beard himself. Jimbo and Ned told Cartman, who was standing in the middle of South Park "You are the only young person who agrees with us on the need to preserve Southern heritage." Cartman said "I agree. Southern heritage is one of the most precious things in the world, like dating within your own race". Jimbo and Ned nodded in agreement.

To celebrate the creation of the statue, we need a celebrity to promote it. Cartman said "why not Ted Nugent, he's my favorite artist." Jimbo and Ned said "That's a great idea. He may be from Michigan, but his heart in the South." Cartman accepted a ride to Jimbo and Ned's house and he opened up Jimbo laptop to play the new Ted Nugent song, which was very racist and depicted a "Muslim" as evil. The video had been crticized as the "Muslim" was a Sikh and had no desire to get involved with "Jihad" given it was foreign to him. Meanwhile, Randy and the liberals had their own plan, which involved talking about how General Lee was obviously evil and trying to counterbalance Ted with Lucy Dacus, who had flipped off a Robert E. Lee statue in her home state of Virginia and has long been cynical about American patriotism as a whole.

To be continued


	3. Ch 3: Stained Racism

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pigeons intervene in the debate over a racist statue by accident.

Ch 3: Stained racism

After Randy woke up, he was terrified and told Sharon about his dream about his actions in China. She told him "that's why you shouldn't have killed Winnie the Pooh". Randy exclaimed "That was a while back and I'm running a protest right now." Sharon said, "Don't dress up as "Lorde"" and claim you are a Kiwi". Randy said, "I made up a lie about delaying the album recently so I can focus on other things right now.' Sharon wasn't impressed but thought he had made small progress.

Randy talked to the other liberals in town and they decided to try to hire Lucy Dacus to perform at their demonstration against the rally. Butters had suggested the idea, but he was informed that Lucy Dacus was busy at this time. They did, however, had her song critical of blind patriotism, "Forever Half Mast" blasted on Spotify.

Meanwhile, the conservatives, led by Jimbo and Ned, were celebrating their statue and were upset at one of the most mundane things possible. They hated the pigeons for relieving themselves on the "heroic" statues. Jimbo said "Our heritage didn't need to be soiled by feathered rats any more than by that traitor Lucy Dacus." Ned said "we should hunt them" Jimbo said "It's coming right for us" when he saw the pigeons and decided to shoot them with machine guns.

The pigeons died violent deaths and it made Jimbo and Ned look even more vilified. It made JImbo and Ned pariahs in the eyes of most of the townspeople, including other conservatives. The only person who liked them more was Cartman. Cartman told them "those pigeons were as bad as gingers as they had no souls". Jimbo and Ned nodded in agreement. Jimbo and Ned were unaware that the fake Robert E. Lee beard had fallen off the statue.

To be Concluded...


	4. Ch 4: The End

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A deal is worked out

End of an Error

For Reference: Russian Winnie is the Soviet era Pooh who a Russian animator drew.

Jimbo and Ned woke up the next morning and were horrified to find their "beloved" statue had lost its beard. They found out first from a text from Cartman saying "not kewl, the beautiful statue was tarnished by Jewish bird shit". Meanwhile, Russian Winnie decided to contact Jimbo and Ned on the Dark Web. His goal was to sell them on a new scheme to put up a replacement statue in order to break American unity.

Russian Winnie said "We support your cause for Southern pride", not realizing the irony that his own country at the time was pro-Union and Alexander II had freed the serfs. Jimbo went on in a chatroom on the Dark Web, but it was cut off when the website randomly crashed. Jimbo had a realization all of a sudden after Winnie had gone on a rant for having Texas secede. Ned said "I told you you can't trust Russians,including Winnie" 

Jimbo and Ned decided to make a compromise with the liberals as even they were tired of it and found Russian Winnie to be rather shady. He decided with Randy to make a compromise. The terms said "The statue will now remain the same, but concessions will be made to both sides. For the with a pro-Union memorial next to it due to this being Colorado, but that the 7 star Confederate Flag would be placed." Randy then said "Who want to see Lucy Dacus in Denver?" Meanwhile Cartman was in his room crying in defeat.

The End.


End file.
